The Yale Journal for Humanities in Medicine
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One Year Later. Doctor's Note
The Phone Rings
Tim Connelly
tconnely@earthlink.net
***
To Whom It May Concern
He tried his best
and never refused to work
or function
at what he was capable
of doing, but he simply
was not cut to be a medic.
There was no lack of intellect
nor desire...
the difficulty was
of a too great a sensitivity
to the pain and suffering of patients.
To demand that he function
in the capacity of a medic
was inappropriate,
He has considered himself a failure
since that sorrowful time
those many years ago.
Capt. P. K. USA
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***
He had returned to the clinic again
with his vague complaints.
The event this time
involved a change in management at his job.
The boss was an “idiot” according to him.
What this tended to do to him
was make him feel less worthwhile,
less able to function properly,
and less likely to be assertive
and utilize what he already knows and has.
It was nearly impossible
to get from him
what specifically he was looking for
by coming to the clinic.
He knew that it was a crisis for him
because he was debating
whether or not to leave his job
and has no specific therapeutic goal.
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***
The phone rings.
It’s Earl.
Frank Johnson is dead.
He shot himself in the head.
I never thought Frank would kill himself.
Every time Earl calls
it’s bad news about another dead vet.
Last time it was about George.
It’s strange Frank would kill himself.
I wondered when The VA
will realize what it’s done to PTSD patients.
I’m numb about the whole thing.
Everyone I know from the stress clinic
is dead or dying.
It’s to the point
where I know more guys
who have died after the war
than during the war.
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Published: September 25, 2007